AAHH!!! THE JOY OF BEING A MALAY WOMAN...
I can't say what it is exactly, but something is bringing me down today. Maybe it's my PMS. It's the time of the month when I feel least loved by everyone around me. Stupid but true.
Work is fine. In fact, I think my boss loves me too much!! He still thinks that I was born a Hindu Goddess with ten hands (though sometimes I wish I could be one!). Yes boss, I love you too, but not that much.
However, of late, I have learnt to balance my life a bit. I learned that no one, ABSOLUTELY no one is indispensable at work. Secondly, work will never end. Perhaps, having my B around has helped myself to see the light. Nowadays, I look forward to going home in the evenings. It's ok to enjoy myself during weekends without having to camp in the office.
I remember how my mom used to complain about my working habit and for her, it's just a form of escapism from reality for yours truly. She said I was just afraid to face the truth about everything else in life; I made myself busy with work and thus, leaving no time to deal with other more important things. What she's really trying to say was that "Girl! You need to go out there and find yourself a good husband. You being a kampung, malay, Muslim woman and all...It just ain't cool to have a daughter who is likened to a merchandise not sold at the tail end of Mega Sale."
It doesn't matter the fact that her daughter is doing great in her career. The ultimate yardstick of success for any respectable Malay woman are still marriage and how good she is at gestating as many children as possible. No, I am not condemning my heritage. Don't get me wrong, sil vous plez. I just feel that some of the views on women are rather archaic. Again, I'm not saying having a family and children are not noble. Hell! I want to have them too. Soon. But they should not be the ultimate goal for every woman. And women should not be condemned and labelled with derogatory names simply because we choose a different path!
I'm not just talking about myself here. I believe there are many Malay women out there who share similar frustration (or is it really just ME??). I see it as unnecessary pressure. To all mommies out there; please, have some pity on your daughters. Finding the right man and getting married are not the easiest things to do these days, though I wish it was the case. And when your daughter is finally dating someone whom she adores totally, please, PLEASE don't make her appear like a desperate spinster by making her feel bad when she's not able to make the man commit to a lifetime partnership soon enough. Please bear in mind that she needs to keep some of her pride and dignity intact.
Give your daughter some space to breath. Learn to trust her judgement. Don't you want her to be with someone whom she loves and who loves her equally in return? And finally, be happy for your daughter, even if she's not married with five kids in tow. Be happy for her, simply because she is happy. Is that too much to ask?
Ok, where was I again???
Work is fine. In fact, I think my boss loves me too much!! He still thinks that I was born a Hindu Goddess with ten hands (though sometimes I wish I could be one!). Yes boss, I love you too, but not that much.
However, of late, I have learnt to balance my life a bit. I learned that no one, ABSOLUTELY no one is indispensable at work. Secondly, work will never end. Perhaps, having my B around has helped myself to see the light. Nowadays, I look forward to going home in the evenings. It's ok to enjoy myself during weekends without having to camp in the office.
I remember how my mom used to complain about my working habit and for her, it's just a form of escapism from reality for yours truly. She said I was just afraid to face the truth about everything else in life; I made myself busy with work and thus, leaving no time to deal with other more important things. What she's really trying to say was that "Girl! You need to go out there and find yourself a good husband. You being a kampung, malay, Muslim woman and all...It just ain't cool to have a daughter who is likened to a merchandise not sold at the tail end of Mega Sale."
It doesn't matter the fact that her daughter is doing great in her career. The ultimate yardstick of success for any respectable Malay woman are still marriage and how good she is at gestating as many children as possible. No, I am not condemning my heritage. Don't get me wrong, sil vous plez. I just feel that some of the views on women are rather archaic. Again, I'm not saying having a family and children are not noble. Hell! I want to have them too. Soon. But they should not be the ultimate goal for every woman. And women should not be condemned and labelled with derogatory names simply because we choose a different path!
I'm not just talking about myself here. I believe there are many Malay women out there who share similar frustration (or is it really just ME??). I see it as unnecessary pressure. To all mommies out there; please, have some pity on your daughters. Finding the right man and getting married are not the easiest things to do these days, though I wish it was the case. And when your daughter is finally dating someone whom she adores totally, please, PLEASE don't make her appear like a desperate spinster by making her feel bad when she's not able to make the man commit to a lifetime partnership soon enough. Please bear in mind that she needs to keep some of her pride and dignity intact.
Give your daughter some space to breath. Learn to trust her judgement. Don't you want her to be with someone whom she loves and who loves her equally in return? And finally, be happy for your daughter, even if she's not married with five kids in tow. Be happy for her, simply because she is happy. Is that too much to ask?
Ok, where was I again???
posted by Ms O at 11:29 am
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